# This may work for you



## Wuzzat? (Jan 9, 2013)

I got a telemarketing call so, on a whim, I said something like:

Hello. <long pause, then even if they are speaking, say>

You have reached a prototype virtual human using artificial intelligence.  <pause - now they are listening.  Then say>

With my speech recognition and speech synthesis software I am fully capable of conversing with a human.  <pause>

What would you like to talk about?  <pause>

<This should all be spoken slowly and deliberately.>



The guy covered the phone with his hand, asked someone something and then hung up. He must have bought it.

The trick is not to laugh and see how far you can take this.  Do not stumble over any words!


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## nealtw (Jan 9, 2013)

Sounds good but takes to much energy to plan for it. I just say " thank you but I am not interested" and hang up, some times I have the phone  hung up before I finish my statement.


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## inspectorD (Jan 9, 2013)

You know what? I'm busy at the moment....Give me your home number and I will call you back tonight......promise!


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## Admin (Jan 9, 2013)

I keep them on the phone as long a a I can, hand it off to my daughter who will "Explain what you're offering when I have time", things like that. 

I can usually keep them on for 10 minutes or so.


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## oldognewtrick (Jan 9, 2013)

Gee, y'all take a much different approach to my suggesting that they preform an anatomically impossible task up[n them selves...


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## Admin (Jan 10, 2013)

oldog/newtrick said:


> Gee, y'all take a much different approach to my suggesting that they preform an anatomically impossible task up[n them selves...



Honestly I've gone back and forth with it. They are doing a job so they can support their families, same as all of us, and I will take a poll over the phone because those people don't make money otherwise, but unless I'm asking to be contacted for services I don't want or need a call from them .


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## Wuzzat? (Jan 10, 2013)

I had to do this (selling magazine renewals) for six months.  We were not nearly as aggressive or arrogant as the calls I've been getting.  Half the people I started with were gone after four.  Maybe I ended up selling one in six, which was average.  Only one guy, George Stout in Utah, told me to do something which is pretty much anatomically impossible.

BTW, it's supposed to be an acronym and stand for 
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
but this might be an urban legend.


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## nealtw (Jan 10, 2013)

BTW, it's supposed to be an acronym and stand for 
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
 but this might be an urban legend
The story I herd was when they put criminals in stocks for puplic veiwing they would write the crime on a sign in front of him and that's where the acronym came from.


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## Wuzzat? (Jan 11, 2013)

nealtw said:


> BTW, it's supposed to be an acronym and stand for
> For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
> but this might be an urban legend
> The story I herd was when they put criminals in stocks for puplic veiwing they would write the crime on a sign in front of him and that's where the acronym came from.


That's what they did to me until my lawyer got me released on a technicality.


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## Admin (Jan 11, 2013)

Fornication Under Consent of the King is what I was taught behind the school house, but who knows. 

I've also heard it's German in origination, seems everyone wants to claim the f word for themselves.


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## Admin (Jan 11, 2013)

Fornication Under Consent of the King is what I was taught behind the school house, but who knows. 

I've also heard it's German in origination, seems everyone wants to claim the f word for themselves.


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## Wuzzat? (Jan 11, 2013)

Austin said:


> Fornication Under Consent of the King is what I was taught behind the school house, but who knows.
> 
> I've also heard it's German in origination, seems everyone wants to claim the f word for themselves.


There is a town in Germany with that name and everyone keeps stealing the signs.  Some in that town want to change the name.
It may be on YouTube, everything else is.

I have a new answer for telemarketers.

<in a cheery voice>
Hi!  We thank you for calling.  Your call is very important to us.  A representative will soon be available to speak to you 
<then you quietly put the phone down>


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## nealtw (Jan 11, 2013)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_Unlawful_Carnal_Knowledge

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_'Fornication_Under_Consent_of_the_King'_mean

Oops, sounds like it's all B.S.


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## Admin (Jan 16, 2013)

nealtw said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_Unlawful_Carnal_Knowledge
> 
> http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_'Fornication_Under_Consent_of_the_King'_mean
> 
> Oops, sounds like it's all B.S.



I thought it would be. No one seems to know the origination.


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## nealtw (Jan 17, 2013)

You don't need proof. With faith, you can beleive anything you like.


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## Wuzzat? (Jan 17, 2013)

nealtw said:


> You don't need proof. With faith, you can beleive anything you like.


In fact, with faith *you are required* to ignore evidence to the contrary.


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