# funny stuff



## odorf (Oct 2, 2014)

things that make you thing

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? 

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? 

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? 

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? 

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?


If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?


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## odorf (Oct 5, 2014)

chicken crossing


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## odorf (Oct 5, 2014)

hunting liscense for you to copy,  and carry


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## oldognewtrick (Oct 5, 2014)

..........


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## odorf (Oct 5, 2014)

stop whining


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## odorf (Oct 5, 2014)

..................


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## odorf (Oct 5, 2014)

you gotta have a since of humor

ar 15


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## odorf (Oct 6, 2014)

..................


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## odorf (Oct 6, 2014)

this is too cute,


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## odorf (Oct 6, 2014)

............


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## oldognewtrick (Oct 6, 2014)

odorf said:


> ............



Almost makes me want to like cats...almost.


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## odorf (Oct 6, 2014)

kitty t......


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## slownsteady (Oct 7, 2014)

Sure hope they're declawed......


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## oldognewtrick (Oct 7, 2014)

slownsteady said:


> Sure hope they're declawed......



I would be happy to check ...


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## odorf (Oct 7, 2014)

.............


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## nealtw (Oct 7, 2014)

..................


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## oldognewtrick (Oct 7, 2014)

nealtw said:


> ..................



Is that written in Canadian?


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## bud16415 (Oct 7, 2014)

oldognewtrick said:


> Is that written in Canadian?



Please Slow Drively Aye would be the correct Canadian pronunciation.   


Sent from my iPhone using Home Repair


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## nealtw (Oct 7, 2014)

No in Canada we have mothers on the street yelling at drivers. "My kids are playing here" but then there is a please on the sign.


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## nealtw (Oct 7, 2014)

In Vancouver, Marks sings the anthems before hockey games and does a real nice job. This year he started skating while singing. oops.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRHoPL0WtdM[/ame]


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## odorf (Oct 7, 2014)

..........................


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## nealtw (Oct 7, 2014)

and then.............why is it that only slow children play, the fasts ones don't have time????????????


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## Chris (Oct 8, 2014)

That was on the local news here yesterday.

Never mind quote didn't work out. Must be a Canada thing


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## odorf (Oct 9, 2014)

this is hilarious

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2014/...out-how-to-use-western-style/?intcmp=HPBucket


they need these signs in spanish


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