# Handling telemarketers



## Wuzzat? (Dec 28, 2017)

The person who asks the question controls the conversation.
If you hang up you are doing them a favor.
Waste their time.

TM: Is the lady of the house in?
Me: That is none of your business.

TM: May I speak to the lady of the house?
Me: No, you may not, even if she exists.

TM: Can I speak to the lady of the house?
Me: You CAN, but you MAY not.

TM: Would you like your ducts cleaned for free?
Me: My time is valuable.  What is your credit card number so that I can charge you for this call?

TM: Would you like your ducts cleaned or would you like to continue suffering from poor air quality?
Me: False dichotomy.

TM, with Bombay accent: Are you having computer problems?
Me: Where are you calling from?
TM names a shopping center near me
Me: what is the address of your building so I can send you a bill for this call?

TM: Are you having problems with your xxx?
Me: I can't find the valve.
TM: Excuse me?
Me: The valve.  I looked at the output stage and also the public policy source, but it's gone.  (mumbling) I really need it.  These voltage readings are confusing me.
Continue with this nonsense until the TM hangs up or, rarely, explodes with rage.

TM: I want to speak to the homeowner.
Me: What is the likelihood that you will get your wish?

TM: Who am I speaking to?
Me: I am afraid.


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## Flyover (Dec 28, 2017)

I hardly ever get human telemarketers anymore. Now they're almost all prerecorded messages that leave gaps in the conversation and pretend to respond to you. Not sure how they think they're going to sell anything that way...

If I do get human telemarketers I just quickly ask to be taken off their list. They either will or won't take me off their list (probably won't) but they always get the hint and say goodbye.

I'm always super polite about it too. In a real nice tone of voice like I'd use for an old friend: "Hey do me a favor, please take me off your list. Thanks. Have a wonderful day, good luck."

Nobody does that kind of work because they like it and I don't want to make their day worse than it already is.


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## nealtw (Dec 29, 2017)

Don't say anything, the real crooks can use your words and change the questions. Like the one that asks " can you here me now" only want a recording of you saying *yes*.


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## Steve123 (Dec 29, 2017)

If they are simply trying to sell something and its their first time calling, I quickly and politely say "no thank you" and hang up.

But the outfits that call continuously (like the Air Duct Cleaning guys) or the scammers (like the guy from Windows who will help me with the virus on my computer), I play along for a few seconds and then say "Oh, somebody at the door, can you hold for a few seconds...."   and then put down the phone on my desk, and continue with whatever I was doing before the call.

The one guy must have been there on hold for 20 minutes.   When I walked by the phone again, I hung it up (figured by then he figured out the situation and moved on).   A few seconds later the phone rings---- he says "we must have been cut off....".    I say "Oh, I'm sorry..... Oh wait, can you hold for just a second", and put down the phone.


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## Gary (Dec 29, 2017)

I rarely pick up a telemarketing call. If I don't recognize the area code I don't bother. If the call is from New York or some other distant lan far far away I am pretty sure they aren't calling me for a sign, (when they call my business number. 
Lately though, I found one persistant telemarketer that uses out local area code AND prefix, throwing me a curve. In that case I set the phone down by the T.V. so they'll be entertained while they wait for the next available caller.


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## joecaption (Dec 29, 2017)

We have one that has been calling for over a year about fixing our computer.
They call using 3 different numbers, one being what looks like a local number.
Where on the do not call list, filed complaint's about them, told them three times to not call back and there still calling even more then ever.
Several times they told the lady I live with to shut up and listen when there talking as she was trying to tell them not to call again, big mistake.
She bought a small air horn, next time they called she waited for a human to pick up and gave um a blast, it's been a week now and no calls.


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## Sparky617 (Dec 29, 2017)

Gary said:


> I rarely pick up a telemarketing call. If I don't recognize the area code I don't bother. If the call is from New York or some other distant land far far away I am pretty sure they aren't calling me for a sign, (when they call my business number.
> Lately, though, I found one persistent telemarketer that uses out local area code AND prefix, throwing me a curve. In that case, I set the phone down by the T.V. so they'll be entertained while they wait for the next available caller.



A lot of telemarketers, especially the fraudulent ones, will spoof a local number to get you to pick up the call.  I work from home and get these all the time.  Usually when you pick up there is a long pause before a prerecorded message kicks off offering me a new credit card or a way to pay NO INTEREST!!!

On your cell phone, you can download a couple of apps "Hiya" and "Mr. Number" to screen telemarketing and scam calls.  You can also search calls you get on your home phone to see if they have been reported and add them to the database.

When I get a call that opens with hello, I'm Jessica, a paid fundraiser for...  I just hang up.  The percentage of the collected money they pass on to the charity is in the low single digits.  The big charity advertisers like Wounded Warriors, Kars for Kids, and the ASPCA also have incredibly high marketing costs.


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## bud16415 (Dec 29, 2017)

Last week I was having lunch at home alone and a local call came thru telling me my computer had an issue and they were calling to help me fix it. I said thank god I have been waiting for you to call. The guy said oh good lets get started. He said is your computer on and I said hell yes its always on, all 8 of them are on. He said 8? And I said yep and they all run slow. He said well go to your main one and tell me what you see? I said they are all main ones just for different stuff some work some home some for paying bills. He said go to the one you use at home for bills and stuff first. I said ok wait a minute. He said what do you see. I said I see my dog. He said your dog? Yep my dog she is so darn cute and I went into an explanation about my dog and he said ok well we don&#8217;t need to know about the dog just close the picture. I said I cant close the picture its my dang screen saver do you even know about computers? He said I&#8217;m sorry well put in your password. I said ok I think I remember it but if I don&#8217;t get it mama has them down in a book out in the barn. He said ok try what you think. I told him dang that isn&#8217;t it hang on I will be back going to fetch the book. He said ok and I begged him not to leave as I have been waiting a couple weeks for him to call. Set the phone down and finished my soup. Then I said are you still there and he was. Now its been about 10 minutes and I told lim I was typing in the numbers and I said there it&#8217;s unlocked now what do I do? And I hung up the phone mid sentence. 

About 5 minutes later he called back and again I told him thank god he had my number to call back. he said ok can you go to computer again and I said yes and he said now what do you see. I said I see my dog. 

He hung up on me how rude I thought. Funny though haven&#8217;t had computer repair call in two weeks. That will teach him to call a retired guy in the middle of a blizzard.


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## dglass4321 (Dec 30, 2017)

About a year ago we started getting besieged with telemarketing calls. Mainly from solar companies. I mean it was like 20 calls a day.  At first I was answering the calls and just hang up.  I got tired of that so I bought a better phone with caller ID.  Now, if they aren't identified in my phone book, I don't answer and then add the phone number to my blocked list.  What I would really like is for a recorded message telling them they are blocked and why but all it does is roll them over to leave a message which they never do.  I'm still registering a complaint at the Do Not Call site but fat lot of good that does.


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## Wuzzat? (Dec 30, 2017)

I hardly ever get human telemarketers anymore. Now they're almost all prerecorded messages that leave gaps in the conversation and pretend to respond to you. 
>I ask, "What is 1 + 2?" to see if they are human.  They don't have an option for this question.  One female voice said, "Well, that is a deep question."  WRONG ANSWER!

Nobody does that kind of work because they like it and I don't want to make their day worse than it already is.
>I did it for six months by which point I was making the average wage for them ($6 in the 90s).  Half the crew I started with were gone after four months.    	

Don't say anything, the real crooks can use your words and change the questions. Like the one that asks " can you here me now" only want a recording of you saying yes.
>I've heard that.    	

On your cell phone
>Don't have one.  
"Classical Conditioning" involves Pavlov's thing about ringing a bell when a dog is about to fed.  Digital devices use "Operant Conditioning."  
It's scary.

Last week I was having lunch at home alone and a local call came thru telling me my computer had an issue and they were calling to help me fix it. I said thank god I have been waiting for you to call. 
>You are an artist!  

I'm still registering a complaint at the Do Not Call site but fat lot of good that does.
>That is Bad for Business and you will be punished!


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## Steve123 (Dec 30, 2017)

Wuzzat? said:


> Don't say anything, the real crooks can use your words and change the questions. Like the one that asks " can you here me now" only want a recording of you saying yes.
> >I've heard that.


 
I have read that too.   But that does not get them any money.   What are they going to do --- show up at my door with a crew to clean my air ducts, and convince me I have to pay them because they have a recording of me agreeing to it --- yeah right.

Or sue me?  And present the recording as evidence.   Be my guest.   I will remember to invite the police fraud squad to the trial.


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## Wuzzat? (Dec 30, 2017)

Steve123 said:


> I have read that too.   But that does not get them any money.   What are they going to do --- show up at my door with a crew to clean my air ducts, and convince me I have to pay them because they have a recording of me agreeing to it --- yeah right.
> 
> Or sue me?  And present the recording as evidence.   Be my guest.   I will remember to invite the police fraud squad to the trial.



Don't underestimate them.

I quit a sports club because they raised the price by a third and wouldn't even speak to me about it.

I sent them a certified letter quiting the club.

They continued to charge my credit card for months, with each charge cancelled.  
Finally, my credit card company (who is usually in bed with the vendors) suggested we report the card lost or stolen.

Then a collection agency notified me that i owed money and if I acknowledge the debt they would tell me who was after me (as if they are doing me a favor!).

I found out on the internet that it was the same club and that they were being investigated in another state.  Somebody probably bought the debt for pennies on the dollar.

So I wrote the three credit agencies and the state's attorney in the location of the parent company.  I also asked that the collection agency reimburse me for the UPS charges for traceable letters.
That seems to have put this to rest.

That sports club manager wanted me to beg him for an explanation.  
I initially also wrote that he should not call me, and he called anyway (nobody tells him what to do) and left a message saying that he "didn't understand" why I don't come to the club anymore.

If this nationwide club has lobbyists, they don't have to pay attention to any laws.  They own judges, senators, congressmen/women & cops.
And they must have lobbyists or they will lose out to their competitors who do.

It's disturbing, but was maybe always true.


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