# ** I need some help and advice about my entire house please! **



## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 13, 2010)

This is a 3 bedroom 2 bath brick house made in 1969. I have lived here for about 10 years now. The way I bought it was through a church because I have bad credit and don't make enough money to buy a new house and go through a actual Realtor. 
This house has been falling down left and right. 
The roof leaks, the ceiling leaks, the walls have cracks in every room, the central ac blew up years ago, the plumbing backs up sewage in the bathtub, sink, and toilet sometimes. I only have half a room of carpet and its all ruined and stained from pets. 
The chimney leaks water and it it puddles up where you would put wood to burn. The ceiling leaks so bad when it rains, I have to put buckets under it. 
I have one mall window ac unit that works on low and freezes up all the time and it leaks water in the floor also. 
The gutters are falling off the house, and the wood behind them is all rotted and falling off. The cracks are so bad outside the garage is separating from the house. 
The main bathroom shower wall is falling in and the wood is rotting under it. 
The driveway is has broken into pieces and the side walk has also, some has caved in because the ground has opened up and swallowed it. 
The other bathroom, the toilet doesnt flush and the shower faucet leaks and drips water so we just don't use that bathroom at all. 
All the blinds in the house are brown and broken. The dish washer has been broke for years. 
I don't make much over minimum wage and can't afford new materials, I can't get a loan because of bad credit, and I am buying the house from a church and they can't help me either. 
The house is still not paid off. What can I do? 
I have some pictures if you would like to see some one the damage. 
The house is close to being unlivable. There is no insalation in the walls of the living room, its all wood paneling that is coming apart. There is some kind of animal living in the walls of the living room. There are cracks every where and some you can see outside. I have a major bug problem, but luckily my cats keep them away most of the time. 
What can I do... really?


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## handyguys (Oct 13, 2010)

First, get your finances in order.
Get rid of the cats - they are an added expense you don't need and seem to be adding to the damage.
Get rid of the air conditioning, it uses electricity you do not need to spend.
Sell your digital camera
cancel the cable if you have it
If you have a car payment, sell car, pay off the loan, and then buy a cheap one with cash only.

Then sell the house or give it back to the church. Get out from under it. Move into a apartment or move in with your parents. You are not financially equipped to handle this house.

Sorry if I'm being too blunt.


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 14, 2010)

handyguys said:


> First, get your finances in order.
> Get rid of the cats - they are an added expense you don't need and seem to be adding to the damage.
> Get rid of the air conditioning, it uses electricity you do not need to spend.
> Sell your digital camera
> ...



I understand I need to find a home for my cats and my 3 dogs but I was trying to find a way to either get the house fixed up or "try" and sell it. 
The only thing is my husband (soon to be ex) will not try and get a loan or do anything to fix the house.HE will not help clean so I will not help clean. I will not lie its been 5 years since anyone has been in the house but us two. He pays the $400 house payment and other bills. He said I am the one that should pay for all the repairs and get them done. I can't afford that no way! 
I have a $400 car payment, cell phone, and multiple medical problems that I have to keep going back to the doctor for, and i have several prescriptions also that I pay for, I have no health insurance. 
I have been begging and pleading and crying for him to please lets move and he says no. Can we find a way to get a loan to fix it up, he says no. 
So, the house just keeps getting worse and worse and he doesnt care. 
It's been 13 years of marriage but I can't keep going on like this, I am literally losing my mind! 
I am turning to alcohol to help cope on my days off and I am stuck in this hell hole. 
I can't afford to live on my own. I only have $300 a month extra to spend so how do I find a apartment for that cheap? I can't... I have looked into it already. I have never felt so trapped in all my life. I'm just 34, I should be living and having a happy life but no... it couldnt be any worse. 

My car is the only thing nice that I own.. I spend more time sitting in it just to relax and be in a area that is stress free, and clean, even if its just for a moment.


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## DrHicks (Oct 15, 2010)

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here.

*Is this a joke?*

My apologies if it's not, because I don't intend to be hurtful. But wow...  holy cow!


If you ARE serious, let us know.  I'll at least share my thoughts regarding how you might go about getting your life in order.

Thanks!


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 18, 2010)

Yes dear I am serious unfortunately. The link I put in my sig shows a lot.


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## DrHicks (Oct 19, 2010)

alwaysbrokegirl said:


> Yes dear I am serious unfortunately. The link I put in my sig shows a lot.



Well...  Let me ask before I say anything more.  Do you want to hear the truth?


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 19, 2010)

The truth is what I hope to get from someone... yes. :/


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## DrHicks (Oct 19, 2010)

alwaysbrokegirl said:


> The truth is what I hope to get from someone... yes. :/



Okay...  Here we go.

First, your house is not your problem.  It's a symptom of a much deeper problem.

In one way or another, whether intentionally or not, this is the life and lifestyle you've chosen for yourself.  I'm going to guess that your $400 per month car payment is going toward the loan for the car that's in your avatar?  THAT is your problem.  Not the car itself, but the fact that you're pouring massive amounts of money into something that will never do anything but lose value.


That's the tip of the iceberg.  Again, I apologize for my bluntness.  Do you want to continue?


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## MSU Fan (Oct 19, 2010)

Yes, not to overshadow where DrHicks is going with this, but the problem is the lifestyle that you and your husband have adopted.  In order to get out from under this, changes have to be made - the car and pets are only the start.  You need a new way of thinking and approaching life, and it sounds like you are ready to accept that.  I offer good luck and prayers because you have a long road ahead of you that isn't easy.


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 20, 2010)

Well this weekend I am starting with a 2 day yard sale to try and sell a bunch of stuff I don't need or want... may even give some away. 

I hope to make "some" money though... because I have less than $20 bux to my name right now, and living off Ramon noodles at work. 

Anyway, after I get a lot of unwanted stuff out of there and get down to the bare minimum I can go from there. 
Our couch is no good.. its all stained up and torn so I am throwing it out. 
I know a lot of our problem is all the dirt, cat pee, hair balls, fur and cob webs on everything!! 
You see.. him and I have been having marriage problems for about 5 years now and the last year or 2 we both just basicly said F'it we are not doing anything anymore. (around the house, cleaning ect..) 
So, we let things go more... and now its SO bad I can't take it any longer.. I am so sad and depressed I am either going to sell everything I own and move out or I am going to go insane...and hurt someone or myself.. I don't know. 
No one on earth should EVER have to live like this, not even a animal!! 
I will admit, I was not raised to have to always keep my room clean or make my bed everyday when I was growing up but my parents at least kept the house pretty clean. 
No his family are almost like neat freaks and if I stayed the night over there I had to make the bed every day and keep my clothes off the floor ect.. (which I didnt always do) and I got my azz chewed out. 
ANYWAY.... I plan to sell or get rid of almost everything I have except my computer, my tv, and my car. 
Yes, that is the FIRST thing everyone says is get rid of the car. Well... I would sell it or what I owe and then how am going to get another car? I would have to save up $400 a month to get one or a down payment on one. All those "tote-the note lots want $175 or 200 ever 2 weeks so there ya go again.. payments and you have to worry about breaking down because its a older 90's or early 2000's model car. 
So... I rather just keep this one and drive it until the wheels fall off...


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## handyguys (Oct 20, 2010)

Sell the car and buy one cash. One for like $600 or $1000. I sold one a couple years ago for $500 that was fine, pretty nice actually. Hopefully you can sell yours, pay off the loan and have enough to buy one without a loan. Thats what you should do. Then sell the house and move in with your parents.


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## DrHicks (Oct 20, 2010)

alwaysbrokegirl said:


> Well this weekend I am starting with a 2 day yard sale to try and sell a bunch of stuff I don't need or want... may even give some away.
> 
> I hope to make "some" money though... because I have less than $20 bux to my name right now, and living off Ramon noodles at work.
> 
> ...




I understand that you're in a tough spot.  But again, if you want things to change, you're going to have to make them change.  And that's not going to be easy.

Up to this point, you've been making excuses.  Grew up messy, bad marriage, overwhelmed, etc.  That has to stop.

You have to replace the excuses with intentional progress.  A massive garage sale is a good move.  A massive clean-up is extremely important.  You have to start somewhere!


The animals living in your house.  Honestly, I can only imagine how bad your house smells.  Multiple cats & 3 dogs?  A house absolutely cannot have that many animals in it without the house turning into a barn.  You need to adopt them out to other families.  Let them go.  As a pet-owner myself, I know it's not going to be easy.  But you _must_ do this.


Your car...  You have to do something different.  $400 per month is more than my mortgage payment on a rental house I am buying.  And we both know that insurance, gas, maintenance and registration is in addition to that $400 per month.  

Go to a Hyundai and/or Kia dealer.  They're always running insane specials on new cars.  See if you qualify.  You may very well get a new car for half the monthly expense you're now paying.

Or if you really want to save money, you can do what I do.  Swallow your pride and drive older vehicles.  My personal car is 14 years old and has about 350,000 miles on it.  I do my own maintenance, so everything works right.  But the point is that, unlike you, I'm NOT paying $5,000 per year on a car.


Again, sorry for the bluntness, but I deal with these kinds of issues with people all the time.  Their/your greatest need is to stop looking at the symptoms as though they are the problem.


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## rnddude (Oct 20, 2010)

ABG, you aren't on the right internet site to deal with the problems you have. Given your situation, there is nothing that can be done in the way of "fixing up" your home. How can you afford internet access and not food? I suspect a troll here....


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 21, 2010)

rnddude said:


> ABG, you aren't on the right internet site to deal with the problems you have. Given your situation, there is nothing that can be done in the way of "fixing up" your home. How can you afford internet access and not food? I suspect a troll here....



I have free wifi at work and that is when I am online. I work overnights...and not very busy up here most of the time so I get on the web.


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## budro (Oct 21, 2010)

you need to take inventory of what you have. sell what you can at the yard sale this weekend. take a look around you. don't like what you see? change it. you say you and hubby have been on this downward spiral for years and now you want change? well, take a year, month, week, day, whatever and set yourself some goals. even if it is just to clean the kitchen this week. the extra bedroom next week, and so on. next month try to accomplish some other needed things. tomorrow do something positive. never ever look back when you are going forward. make your goals realistic. don't become this person who turns their house over to pets in an attempt to avoid reality. i love my pets but i love myself even more. if you don't want to get rid of some or most of them then definately take on no more. my wife and i have three dogs and a cat. 3 of 4 are rescues and we love them. when she sees another hard luck case and wants it i just say to pick one we already have to get rid of and we'll get that one. that always does the trick. if you make an extra fifteen dollars this weekend, go buy the book "the road less travelled" by dr. scot m. peck. if you will let it, it will change your outlook and attitude on life forever. i once didn't care if i saw tomorrow, today my financial statement would raise your eyebrows. it all starts with you. you have to want more for yourself than anyone else could possibly ever give you. yes you can. one day at a time. thank you for your time, budro


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## MSU Fan (Oct 21, 2010)

Perhaps she should start with the library for any books that can help her?


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Oct 26, 2010)

*Well........... I am moving out and leaving him.. its over. I can't take the pain and depression any longer. 

*


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## DrHicks (Oct 27, 2010)

alwaysbrokegirl said:


> *Well........... I am moving out and leaving him.. its over. I can't take the pain and depression any longer.
> 
> *



So...  What's your plan?


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## nealtw (Nov 24, 2010)

You want the truth. Stand back and give your head a shake. Nothing less than a gift from the church. What did you say to them to get that deal. Sell the car and take a bus. the library has computers for free use. Your lazy and spoiled and your looking for another deal like the church gave you. Take responibility for your partner, your pets,your house and yourself. Pride is earned with hard work. Whining and crying is fine but it is up to you to change what is wrong. You do know what is wrong. 
Your next step is the first step of the rest of your life..


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## alwaysbrokegirl (Nov 25, 2010)

nealtw said:


> You want the truth. Stand back and give your head a shake. Nothing less than a gift from the church. What did you say to them to get that deal. Sell the car and take a bus. the library has computers for free use. Your lazy and spoiled and your looking for another deal like the church gave you. Take responibility for your partner, your pets,your house and yourself. Pride is earned with hard work. Whining and crying is fine but it is up to you to change what is wrong. You do know what is wrong.
> Your next step is the first step of the rest of your life..



I stopped and looked at a house one day and this person told me about this church that has 2 houses for sale and they might owner finance it for us. So we went up to the church and after a talk and a hand shake we moved in and started making payments at $350 per month. Soon after we were moved in we went and signed some papers/legal agreements that we are buying the house from them and that was that. 
I do need to sell my car and I am trying to do that... I have not moved out of the house yet, but I plan to in Jan. after I get my income tax money. I am going to move out of town and in with my mom. 
That house just needs so much.. it will take with years to fix it half way decent. I did find out this week were able to claim the roof on our insurance so we are now able to get a new roof so that will stop the rain from flooding in the living room now.  That's 1 good thing that has happened. 

I do plan to change and its coming very soon...


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## Mr. Victorian (Dec 2, 2010)

This is terrible.  I believe I have something for you.  The United States Department of Agriculture has a subdivision called "Rural Development," often abbreviated as USDA-RD.  As its name suggests, it is dedicated to the development of Rural Communities.  I noticed you live in Greenville, Texas, and this is a town smaller than the one I live in.  I got my home through the same agency.  What they do is offer a 0% down subsidized loan with your payments based on approximately 24% of your gross income.  The interest rate is 5%, BUT the mortgage life is 33 years instead of 30.  They will prompt you once a year to refinance at a bank or other financial institution, since it is not the intent of the program to keep you on for the life of your loan.  If you don't qualify at a bank, then you stay on the program.  There are strict guidelines on the kind of house you can buy, and you will still have to pay actual closing costs (mine were around $600), but you need no down payment.  The guidelines actually prevent you from both splurging and from buying a crap house.

Alternatively, they offer (I believe) up to 20,000 loans @ 1% interest for home improvements.  You may opt to do that and resell your existing house instead, but I recommend the first suggestion, I'm not sure that house can be repaired for this price!

Just look up USDA-RD online and check out what the guidelines are in your area, or if your area qualifies.

Take this piece of advice from a guy who has far more in his house than it seems like he can afford in the lower-class:  It's not how much money you have, it's how wisely you spend it.  Never be eager, patience is valuable, especially when spending money is involved.

I hope this helps.  God bless.


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## Turtle (Dec 2, 2010)

I feel for you, as I am in a similar situation. I finally got rid of my worthless ex a couple of years ago, who refused to do anything to help out around here...financially or otherwise. Was a nasty court battle, too, but well worth the temporary added stress to get that accomplished.

As far as houses go, mine is over 100 years old. About 7-8 leaks in the roof, that I know of (metal roof). No foundation...just a few strategically placed hand carved (squared) boulders. Floor joists are basically 'gone' in a couple of rooms. Original wiring with an old fashioned fuse box and inadequate plugs throughout for modern day usage so we have extension cords all over the place. Two unused chimneys because of severe safety issues. Windows about to fall out upstairs. The ones downstairs are mostly painted and nailed shut. Tried to loosen up a couple of them a few years ago and the frames started crumbling, so decided it was better to leave well enough alone. Warped and badly sagging floors that make the whole room vibrate when even my cat walks across the floor. An imaginary staircase that is no better than a ladder due to inadequate horizontal-to-height ratio, and the steps are all lopsided, unevenly spaced, and there's a broken step half-way to the upstairs that I haven't been able to access in almost 5 years (the upstairs, that is). No storage...not even one stinkin' closet in the entire place and no kitchen cabinets! Poor floor plan. Didn't even have a bathroom when we moved in almost 9 years ago. At least I have a shower and a toilet now. One of my older boys put that in for me as a Christmas present a few years ago.

Personally, I think fixing this place up (the right way) would cost way more than it would ever be worth. It was all hodge-podge put together through the decades by various previous owners, none of it appropriately lined up...just added onto as money allowed back in those days. There are crooked walls and crooked floors. And this past summer I discovered where a door once was on an exterior wall of the living room where they had DUCT TAPED a piece of cardboard over the hole and wall papered over it! I couldn't understand why the flooring had dropped from the wall there and I was seeing daylight between the two!

I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting at the moment, but you get the idea.

And the truth is, I can't afford to do much more than what previous owners have done, as I am on a fixed low income (below poverty level). So I hang onto what I've got and pray that it doesn't collapse on top of us.

My only saving grace was the highway department paying off what I still had owing on the property because of some temporary easements while they put a new highway through in front of my place...plus they are taking a small tip off the far end of the field. But with the economy like it is, and the amount of work it would take to bring this old lady back up to code, I just don't see it happening. At least I don't have to make payments on it any more.

Meanwhile, I chose to get one of those barn-type sheds that has lofts inside. They have a rent-to-own place locally and the payments are affordable even on my budget. I am going to start fixing it up as a small starter home, and add onto it as I can afford to. Downsizing seems to be the new trend, anyway, and I would prefer living a simpler life at my age. Once it is fixed up enough to move into with my son, we will start tearing down this old house, salvaging as many materials as possible. Once the old house is down, we'll move that shed over to where the house is sitting and hook it up to existing water and electric. Then we'll start adding onto it, building it the way that I want it, utilizing as many of the materials salvaged from the old house as possible.

It will be a lot of work! But at least I can build it the way I want it over time.


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