# Ask an Aussie.



## UncleKnackers (Jul 8, 2010)

Hey guys, l was prompted by Tom (OldDog/NewTrick) to get involved in a cultural exchange between our great nations. Anything you want to ask about life Down Under, fire away.

But first, kangaroos can not be found bouncing around suburban streets, we don't throw shrimps on the barbie, we do not use the word cobber, koala bears are not cuddly (down right dangerous, try and cuddle one, you'll soon find out!) little animals and yes Redback spiders do live under toilet seats!

ok, l'm ready.


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 8, 2010)

Alright, when I flush the toilet the water swirls in a clockwise motion. Which way does it swirl Down Under? 

(yeah, some of use have indoor plumbing in sticksville USA)


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## UncleKnackers (Jul 8, 2010)

Oh Boy here we go!!!!!!!!!!  if they spin in the same direction , on opposite sides of the planet, it would cause the world to start spinning in that direction, regardless of a which direction it is ,, so eventually the world would be spinning so fast from all the toilets flushing, that soon people would start being slung off the face of the earth,, so there fore I firmly believe that toilets in Australia spin opposite of toilets in America.
Im hope that was clear enough for ya.


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## inspectorD (Jul 8, 2010)

Is "Elvis" living there? And does the rain fall Up there, as it falls down here? Or do I have that backwards as well. And thanks to Oldog for askin that question, I was afraid to cause I thought it would be a silly one to ask.

Thanks for helpin out.:banana::banana:


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 8, 2010)

OK, its about 7:15 AM here in TN. Is it today or tommorow in Australia? If its tomorrow could you look and see what the winning Lottery numbers are cause this 401K retirement plan isn't quite working out like I'd hoped it would.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 8, 2010)

Why don't you guys like peanut butter? It's delicious. Also Vegemite,I get it you grew up on it, fermented yeast spread is still gross. Also the term pom, is this an insult down there? I've seen it on other boards and apparently it means Prisoner of her majesty? Is this actually still used? Most of you should be free from her now. People in NewZealand, do you guys really dislike them and they dislike you? It seems to me the equivalent of me disliking Hawaiians.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 8, 2010)

Mosquitos in Manitoba don't grow much larger than humming birds.  Do they grow bigger in Australia?

Also, where did they get the name "Australia"?  Is it an aboriginee word meaning "Far as you can bloody well get from England."


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 8, 2010)

inspectorD said:


> And thanks to Oldog for askin that question, I was afraid to cause I thought it would be a silly one to ask.
> 
> Thanks for helpin out.:banana::banana:



I try and do my part...


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## UncleKnackers (Jul 8, 2010)

Boy's, just letting you know that the lotto numbers are 12,6,35,36,23,4 and 1. Don't say l don't ever do anything for ya. Keep them under your hat. You don't want to many people to know.
Nestor, humming bird size mosquitoes are the lavae size ones here in oz. The average one is say the size of an adult crow. Bit of a nuisance really. By the way Nestor l laughed my head off at your definition of Australia. To true!
The concise meaning of the word Australia is; Bloody Hot!
Hey Tx, you're right, the poms over here do have a reputation for being whingers. Now l don't want to upset anyone nor do l want to tar every pom with the same brush but......
The worst thing about them is that they are currently kicking our *** in the cricket!
As far as New Zealanders go they aren't to bad. Whenever one becomes famous, eg Russell Crow, we manage to claim them as our own.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 9, 2010)

I did not know that. I thought he was Australian. He was in that movie Romper Stomper I saw when I was in my teens. It changed the way I thought of Australia.


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## inspectorD (Jul 9, 2010)

My favorite was the original MAD MAX, I loved the car. I used to have a 5 liter Capri in my teens....without the blower of course.

And what do the Aussies think of Mel anyway? I like him cause I think he's honest when he speaks.:2cents:


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 9, 2010)

inspectorD said:


> And what do the Aussies think of Mel anyway? I like him cause I think he's honest when he speaks.:2cents:



I did not know Mel Brooks was from Australia.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 9, 2010)

oldog/newtrick said:


> I did not know Mel Brooks was from Australia.



Geez, I thought everyone knew that. That was his inspiration for Young Frankenstein. The working title was , "Crocodile Frankenstein." Seems a shame they changed it up.


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 15, 2010)

And another thing I've wondered...does everyone have a knife like Crocodile Dundee? Tell us the real story about the Aborigines.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 15, 2010)

oldog/newtrick said:


> ...does everyone have a knife like Crocodile Dundee?



I think it's only the men that carry the big Bowie knives around.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 20, 2010)

We aren't even allowed to carry those in Texas unless were in costume.


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## UncleKnackers (Jul 21, 2010)

Hey Tom, the knife from crocodile Dundee is one we use to trim our finger nails! You should see the one we use for hunting!
Seriously though l am a bit worried about the guns l recently saw on Nestors post. Man...what do you guys use them for?
Over here no one has a gun except for the police and undesirables. I can't believe that a lot of you guys have one...but then again...


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 21, 2010)

UncleKnackers said:


> Hey Tom, the knife from crocodile Dundee is one we use to trim our finger nails! You should see the one we use for hunting!
> Seriously though l am a bit worried about the guns l recently saw on Nestors post. Man...what do you guys use them for?
> *Over here no one has a gun except for the police and undesirables*. I can't believe that a lot of you guys have one...but then again...



Uncle, its almost ths same here as it is there. Police and the bad guys have guns. 

What do we use the guns for??? They are for when the ---- hits the fan. (you fill in the blank) and not everyone has a gun.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 21, 2010)

UncleKnackers said:


> Hey Tom, the knife from crocodile Dundee is one we use to trim our finger nails! You should see the one we use for hunting!
> Seriously though l am a bit worried about the guns l recently saw on Nestors post. Man...what do you guys use them for?
> Over here no one has a gun except for the police and undesirables. I can't believe that a lot of you guys have one...but then again...




He's Canadian so you know he's up to no good.

Guns are a cultural thing. In the US they more or less represent freedom, especially considering it is necessary to keep the British from taking us back. You guys should be worried too.


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 21, 2010)

TxBuilder said:


> In the US they more or less represent freedom, especially considering it is necessary to keep the British from taking us back. You guys should be worried too.



It's not the British I'm fearfull of...


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## UncleKnackers (Jul 22, 2010)

Mate, what a fantastic sign!!!! I'm glad l'm not living next to them. All you guys come up with the best photo's etc. Where and the hell do you get them from?
 Now tell me this, do you guys have to much time on your hands or what?


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 22, 2010)

The last time I had too much time on my hands, I decided to see if I could swallow a golf ball.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 22, 2010)

UncleKnackers said:


> Mate, what a fantastic sign!!!! I'm glad l'm not living next to them. All you guys come up with the best photo's etc. Where and the hell do you get them from?
> Now tell me this, do you guys have to much time on your hands or what?



Time? What's that? I have a two year old.



Nestor_Kelebay said:


> The last time I had too much time on my hands, I decided to see if I could swallow a golf ball.



Success?


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 22, 2010)

Success?

Partial.  I managed to get the ball down, but a few hours later I started reflecting on the wisdom of swallowing a golf ball.  So, just to be on the safe side, I went to the hospital and waited in the Emergency area to see a doctor.  Gawd I musta waited for 8 hours there to see a doctor.


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## UncleKnackers (Jul 23, 2010)

Nestor you are an absolute classic!! The last time l had time on my hands my wife got pregnant!


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## TxBuilder (Jul 26, 2010)

UncleKnackers said:


> Nestor you are an absolute classic!! The last time l had time on my hands my wife got pregnant!




I always wondered how that happened. 


Australians breed when they have to much time. Check.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 28, 2010)

What's the housing market look like in Australia?


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 28, 2010)

UncleKnackers said:


> The last time l had time on my hands my wife got pregnant!



Well don't look at me.

I was in Canada at the time.  I have witnesses.


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 28, 2010)

Nestor_Kelebay said:


> Well don't look at me.
> 
> I was *(allegedly)* in Canada at the time.  I have witnesses*(held at gun point)*.



There fixed it for ya.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 28, 2010)

Well, who knows.  Maybe it is one of mine.

Does the baby look anything like me?







That's my driver's license picture.  Those driver's license pictures always
make a person look like they just finished killing a bus load of school children.

And I didn't kill any that day.


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## TxBuilder (Jul 30, 2010)

Nestor, do you really look like Tor Johnson? That would be pretty cool.


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## oldognewtrick (Jul 30, 2010)

TxBuilder said:


> Nestor, do you really look like Tor Johnson? That would be pretty cool.




...he is Tor Johnson....


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Jul 30, 2010)

He11 no.

Tor Johnson shaves his eyebrows.

I don't.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 1, 2010)

Uncle Knackers:

Last night on the TV show "The Nature of Things" they said that as a result of generations of breeding with salt water crocodiles, some Australians that live along the north coast are able to open their mouths so wide that their heads turn inside out.

I was just wondering if that same breeding is resulting in salt water crocs along the north coast that have pinkish lips?


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## TxBuilder (Aug 2, 2010)

Nestor_Kelebay said:


> He11 no.
> 
> Tor Johnson shaves his eyebrows.
> 
> I don't.



If those are shaved, I would hate to see them unshaven. 



Nestor_Kelebay said:


> Uncle Knackers:
> 
> Last night on the TV show "The Nature of Things" they said that as a result of generations of breeding with salt water crocodiles, some Australians that live along the north coast are able to open their mouths so wide that their heads turn inside out.
> 
> I was just wondering if that same breeding is resulting in salt water crocs along the north coast that have pinkish lips?



As a scientist, I'm going to have to say that is what's happening.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 4, 2010)

OK, I'm going to start marketing a lipstick for crocodiles.  It'll be ordinary lipstick, but mounted on the end of a long pole so that you can apply lipstick to your crocodile from a safe distance.





"I ate the last person who tried to put cheap lipstick on me."


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## TxBuilder (Aug 4, 2010)

I would like to invest in your lipstick for alligators on a stick invention. Unless it's just lipstick just taped or tied to the end of the stick, in which case I own that patent.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 4, 2010)

Nope, it's waterproof lipstick SCREWED to the end of a long straight pole.  That way, it can be used in Florida for aligators and in the rest of the continent for zoo animals like lions, tigers and polar bear.

And the pole would be an accessory so that the lipstick could be used in close quarters for domesticated farm animals and livestock.  Who knows, lipstick may be the next big thing in animal husbandry.





"As every madam knows, you have to look good to command a high price."


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## oldognewtrick (Aug 4, 2010)

Nestor, where did you get that pic at? It looks very similar to someone I dated in college. Hey don't judge me it was a very confusing time of my life.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 5, 2010)

Yeah, a few beers will make the wall flowers bloom pretty.

I got it at:

http:\\www.pigs_that_graduated_from_college.com

Her name is Mona, in case you forgot.  She works as a registered nurse in Peoria.


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## TxBuilder (Aug 9, 2010)

oldog/newtrick said:


> Nestor, where did you get that pic at? It looks very similar to someone I dated in college. Hey don't judge me it was a very confusing time of my life.



I'm judging you. If I had known my future dinner was once in your arms, I would have invited you over.


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## inspectorD (Aug 9, 2010)

TxBuilder said:


> I'm judging you. If I had known my future dinner was once in your arms, I would have invited you over.



Isn't that the pig to the slauoooh never mind...sometimes I get confused too.


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## oldognewtrick (Aug 10, 2010)

Hey, enough about me, what about the knackers guy? He hasn't posted any new videos lately. Whats up uncle? On Holiday?


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 10, 2010)

oldog/newtrick said:


> Hey, enough about me, what about the knackers guy? He hasn't posted any new videos lately. Whats up uncle? On Holiday?



Looks to me like another case of alien abduction.  Aliens are probably sticking probes up Uncle Knackers various orifices right now.


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## TxBuilder (Aug 12, 2010)

Lets hope not, he a good guy and I would hate to see it happening in Australia.

Hey Knackers, do Australians get abducted by aliens?


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## oldognewtrick (Aug 17, 2010)

TxBuilder said:


> Lets hope not, he a good guy and I would hate to see it happening in Australia.
> 
> Hey Knackers, do Australians get abducted by aliens?



Guess we made him mad and he went to the Outback. Hey, I went to Outback Steakhouse a couple times.


Guess we'll have to start back on Nestor, learning things bout Canada, eh. It's getting close to Halloween, what was that they shouted when trick or treating?


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 17, 2010)

oldog/newtrick said:


> Guess we'll have to start back on Nestor, learning things bout Canada, eh.



I feel "used".


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## TxBuilder (Aug 20, 2010)

Nestor_Kelebay said:


> I feel "used".



Feel free to reciprocate.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 21, 2010)

Recently, in the UN, there has been a lot of talk about the rest of the world having a say in the election of the US President.  The thinking on this is that the US President is not only the President of the USA, but becomes a defacto world leader as well.

How would US citizens feel about the rest of the world having some say in the election process by which you guys choose a president?

Do Americans see any merit in the argument of the UN that the rest of the world should have some say in the election process because they are often directly affected by the results?

Had the US elected Al Gore for President, it's likely there may have been more movement on the environmental front, which affects everyone in the world, for example.


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## oldognewtrick (Aug 21, 2010)

Nestor_Kelebay said:


> How would US citizens feel about the rest of the world having some say in the election process by which you guys choose a president?QUOTE]
> 
> Where have you been Nestor, if you want to vote in the US elections all you have to do is show up at the ballot box. Heck we even let dead people vote here.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 21, 2010)

I don't think they should build that mosque close to where the World Trade Center once stood.

I mean, you can spin any kind of symbolism you want into or out of that happening.  On the one hand, people are going to say it represents the triumph of Allah over the Great Satan.  On the other, people are going to say that the building of the mosque represents America's recognition that it was not Islam that brought down the WTC but misguided terrorists, and that the building of that mosque is a tribute to religious tolerance and freedom in America.

You can put whatever spin you want on it.   But, at the end of the day, the bottom line is the building of that mosque close to ground zero is asking for trouble.  There are people that are going to set about trying to bring down that mosque "just like the muslims brought down the WTC".  Some Joe is going to figure it's his patriotic duty to fire bomb that mosque for pay back.

So, why do it?  Why build something that's likely going to end up being a target for attack?  I say build it somewhere else where it's not going to be an issue.  To me, that mosque doesn't represent ANYTHING except poor judgement and lousy decision making.  I would not want to own a building that's likely to be attacked as soon as it's built, and I expect the insurance premiums on that building are going to reflect that.


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## TxBuilder (Aug 23, 2010)

As for the outside interference into American politics, I'm going to say hell no. That would defy the point of being a country and force us to globalize, which, as we all know is terrible.

As for the Mosque issue. It's not one. They have a footlocker next door (or something else equally as trivial). We blight our own greatness.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 23, 2010)

I hope the mosque isn't an issue and the whole debate goes away regardless of whether they build it or not.

I'm just concerned that building that mosque is tearing the scab off of a lot of emotions even now.  If someone takes it upon themselves to fire bomb it, that's just going to rekindle the flames again.

We don't need the drama.  Build it next to a synagogue or something, but don't build it where it's going to cause a fuss.


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## oldognewtrick (Aug 23, 2010)

I think I found out what happened to Uncleknackers. Seems he had a little issue going to the mailbox the other day.


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 24, 2010)

So, Uncle Knackers got dressed up in a kangaroo costume and punched out a Japanese tourist?    Hit him again for me Unc!


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## TxBuilder (Aug 25, 2010)

Nestor_Kelebay said:


> I hope the mosque isn't an issue and the whole debate goes away regardless of whether they build it or not.
> 
> I'm just concerned that building that mosque is tearing the scab off of a lot of emotions even now.  If someone takes it upon themselves to fire bomb it, that's just going to rekindle the flames again.
> 
> We don't need the drama.  Build it next to a synagogue or something, but don't build it where it's going to cause a fuss.



I think it's interesting that people blame Islam. Koresh wasn't seen as a "Christian" but he thought he was Jesus. The Branch Davidians aren't seen as Christian Terrorist, although they were. I think we fear what we don't know. What we do know we hate. Hermann Hesse has a good quote on this one. "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb "

I think he was right.



Nestor_Kelebay said:


> So, Uncle Knackers got dressed up in a kangaroo costume and punched out a Japanese tourist?    Hit him again for me Unc!



I'm not sure on the specifics, but that camera got some air!


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## Nestor_Kelebay (Aug 25, 2010)

TxBuilder said:


> I think it's interesting that people blame Islam. Koresh wasn't seen as a "Christian" but he thought he was Jesus. The Branch Davidians aren't seen as Christian Terrorist, although they were.



I can't say I genuinely agree with any of that.

There are differing views amongst "Christians" or "Catholics" just as there are differing views amongst various muslim, hindu, buddist and even athiest groups.  Some "Christians", notably the Westboro Baptist Church, which protests at the funerals of fallen US soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan proclaims that "God Hates America" because of America's acceptance of homosexuality in society.

Westboro Baptist Church Home Page

That is, some Christian "churches" have very "radical" views just as some groups that profess to practise Islam have very radical views.  When you have a book that's 2000 years old, and not all of it even makes sense (such as Psalms), it allows for a great deal of liberty in interpretation.  No one can say that the Bible approves homosexuality, but no one can say that it isn't totally natural either.  Diversity is the modus operandi of evolution.  We can't accept the concept of evolution without also accepting the diversity of life it creates, including homosexuality.

So, the best that can be said is that we live in a very diverse world, diverse in every respect.



> I think we fear what we don't know. What we do know we hate. Hermann Hesse has a good quote on this one. "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb "
> 
> I think he was right.



Some of that I can partially accept.  We do fear what we don't know.  Y2K was a perfect example of that.  We simply didn't know how big a problem it was going to be, and so we feared THE WORST.  But, it's natural to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  That keeps us ready for any eventuality.  Anything less wouldn't be "preparedness".

"What we do know we hate."
That just don't make no sense no how.  People LIKE the music they listened to when they were kids.  People become homesick and lonely for the people they know best; their relatives and close friends, when they are separated from them.  People tend to buy the same brands of products simply because they are happy with them and know what to expect.  If your statement is correct, then all of mine are wrong.  Truth is, those people and things we know, we tend to prefer over those we don't.  How often does grandma buy an Eminem CD?  Prolly Grandma would prefer to watch Lawrence Welk on TV.  Why?  Cuz she knows of him and knows what to expect from him.  Lawrence does't #$%@ing swear in any of his songs.

""If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself." 

How does that square with white/black prejudice or the hate seethed by skinheads against anyone who isn't white.  How does it square with the hatred of the Jews by Hitler's Third Reich?  I say if you hate a person or group of people, you hate something about THEM that abhors you.  End. Full Stop.  For example, here in Canada there's a lot of prejudice against natives because there's the widespread notion that most of them spend their lives bouncing around on the social safety nets.  They rely on government to provide funding to the tribe, and that funding goes for housing, education, salaries, etc.  But, that funding comes out of tax payer's pockets, and it's natural for people to resent having to pay higher taxes to provide someone else with free housing, an tax-free income, free prescription drugs, free university education and still have them complain about how badly they've been mistreated.

What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb"
So, if I see a UFO in the sky, or a "ghost" or a Bigfoot or anything else that's completely outside my life's experience on this good Earth, that doesn't disturb me?



> I'm not sure on the specifics, but that camera got some air!



I thought it was a UFO hovering over the trees in the background that just happened to look remarkably similar to a movie camera.


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